The Secrets We Keep
by BananaLlamaRama
Summary: We've decided to make it a series!What would life for the Glee kids be like without Glee? Kinda depressing.
1. Quinn

**Disclaimer: ** Nothing own I.

**Authors Note: ** Noticed mistakes so I'm reloading it

Quinn Fabray was good at keeping secrets. After all, no queen had ever let her subjects know that all wasn't well within her castle. She put on a brave face and let everyone believe her life was perfect in the palace, but the reality was far from it The fights at home had been going on for as long as she could remember.

At least once a week, her father would be late coming home from 'work', reeking of booze. While Quinn and Nadia cowered in their room, they could hear their crying mother as their father beat her in a drunken rage.

When she was four, Quinn made the mistake of telling her father to stop hitting her mother. The large bruise that was across her stomach for a month reminded her to never try it again.

But when things got bad, her big sister Nadia would always be there for her. At least, that's what she thought. But a few months after her father started beating, Nadia ran away from home. No warning, no note, she just packed up and left leaving Quinn alone with their unstable parents.

At night, Quinn's mother would sob into her shoulder, fretting that Quinn would be taken away from her if someone found out about the beatings. But as the 16 year old expertly covered the bruise on her cheek with make up, she realised no one would ever find out.

After all, Quinn Fabray was good at keeping secrets.


	2. Rachel

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Glee. In fact, I own nothing. I'm currently living in a cardboard box

**Author's Note: **Be warned, 'tis depressing. Set before the series starts. It's now a series. A little piece of me died writing this.

**The Secrets We Keep 2**

Rachel Berry knew she should have told someone. That's what she had always been told to do; by her dads, by the school and by all those cheesy Disney after school specials.

But who could she have told? Her dads would have told her to be the bigger person and ignore her them. She didn't have any friends to confide in, and it would have been pointless telling the principal or a teacher. After all, it would have been her word against Quinn's, and everyone loved Quinn Fabray.

Everyday during school, Quinn and her cheer squad would chip away at her self esteem with their cruel, cutting words. Even after school and at the weekends, she wasn't safe. They would bombard her with insults in texts and on her Myspace page.

Rachel had no idea what she had ever done to the cheerleaders to deserve this. It hurt to know that some people hated her for simply taking up space and breathing their air. She should have told someone.

But as she leapt into the icy river, with the pure force of the river crushing the air from her lungs and the freezing water stinging her skin like a thousand needles, she realised something. She would never have the chance to tell anyone anything ever again.


	3. Kurt

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Glee, or Fox, or anything of actual worth.

**Authors Note: **I'm actually scared about how depressing these are... Here comes Kurt!

**The Secrets We Keep 3**

Kurt always knew he was different from other boys. While all the boys in his kindergarten class played with their Power Rangers and Action Men, he was having tea parties with the girls and all their Barbies and stuffed toys.

Him being different never seemed to bother anyone until he was in 3rd grade. When Noah Puckerman found him singing the Wicked song "Popular", he ended up with a broken nose and a gash across his forehead where Noah smashed his head against the curb.

Whenever he came home with an injury from 'playing football' (which was every other day), his dad would be furious. His mother, on the other hand, would simply hold him tightly as he tried to understand why they wouldn't just let him be himself.

In those loving embraces, Kurt finally felt safe. Around his mother, he could finally be himself. But like all good things in life, it was bound to come to an end. And it did, when his mother passed away.

To be fair, his father did his best to be loving and supportive, but Kurt would still have to tone himself down. For the first time, he had nowhere to be himself.

It was truly frustrating, being unable to grieve without feeling angry that his mother abandoned him. Just because he was different, he was persecuted and abused by his peers. One day, it became too much to handle.

He loaded the pistol his dad kept in the shop for security and slipped it in his schoolbag before heading out the door. Kurt always knew he was different, and since they couldn't let him be himself, they would pay.


	4. Santana

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Glee, or Fox, or anything of actual worth.

**Authors Note: **Santana's one nearly made me cry

**The Secrets We Keep 4**

Santana was always a beautiful girl. Ever since she was 3 years old, that was the compliment she was guaranteed to receive when she was first introduced to someone. They would ignore the sour glint in her eye and focus on the positive.

The slight blush always present on her cheeks, her deep brown eyes churning with emotion, her flowing ebony hair and the glow that seemed to radiate off her tanned skin were all things that would get her noticed no matter where she was or who she was with.

But when she was 10, her uncle Diego unwittingly said something that would send his darling niece down a very dark path, a path that was nearly impossible to come back from. He said she was getting chubby.

Santana wasn't used to getting insults, or anything but compliments, about her appearance. It really hit her hard. She spent half that night staring at herself in the mirror, pulling at her stomach, trying to make it flatter. The other half she spent jamming her fingers down her throat to banish all food from her something.

From that day, it became her obsession. During the day, she'd watch the other kids pile up their plates with food in the cafeteria while she would nibble on a few carrot sticks. Straight after school, before her parents got home from work, she would retch up everything she had eaten that day, leaving her empty and exhausted.

The Latina repeated this ritual everyday, until the slight bulge of her stomach disappeared. But she didn't stop. The melody of her life is composed of retching and sobbing.

Santana was always a beautiful girl. But all she sees when she looks in the mirror, is a girl who still has a lot she needs to lose.


	5. Finn

**Disclaimer:** We don't own Glee. If we did, Kurt would have so many solos...

**Authors Note:** Our pool of ideas is running dry... Suggestions are appreciated

**The Secrets We Keep**

Finn was always under a lot of pressure. For as long as she could remember, he was the man of the house, trying with all his might to make life easier for his selfless mother while she worked her fingers to the bone trying to provide for them.

He didn't know how or why, but he had been a leader all through his school years. All the other kids looked up to him, and not just because of his incredible height. They depended on him for guidance, and sometimes it simply overwhelmed him.

Being the school quarterback just added to the stress, but it had to be done. His mother wouldn't be able to afford to send him to a good college. God only knew how much he needed that sports scholarship.

All the while, he was searching for release. At one of Puck's infamous parties, he found it. A group of guys were in Puck's room, injecting themselves with heroin. Finn didn't have the strength to refuse the rusted needle.

Once a week, Finn met with his dealer from Carmel to hype up his supply. Before games and at the weekends, he'd skulk up up to his room, stabbing his arm with the needle.

When he was high, all Finn's worries seemed to melt away. In that state of bliss, the world seemed a brighter and happier place. But when he recovered, the worries crashed back down like a tonne of bricks, leaving him with puckered scars and a desperate longing for more.

Finn was always under a lot of pressure. Little did he know how much his 'release' would add to that.


	6. Tina

**Disclaimer: **Glee is not mine, and for a very good reason

**Author's Note:** You asked me to update, so I did! I don't know whether I like this chapter or not... Inspiration came from CrimsonJoy, who also happens to be a legend.

Tina was never the one to get noticed. In elementary school, while Kurt, Rachel and Mercedes sat under the shade of a tree to gossip and sing, while Brittany, Santana, Quinn and the rest of their clique giggled and gushed over the latest object of their affection, while Finn, Puck, Artie and Mike played violent games of football, each boasting of their dreams to rule the NFL, Tina sat in a secluded corner of the playground, her only company being herself and the spiders that scurried across the cobwebs. No one to notice her, no one to talk to, and the aching pain of solitude following her all the way to high school.

Those spiders lingered in her memory, fascinating her; hiding in the dark, keeping to themselves. Just like her. So she abandoned her web of sweet innocence and bright colours and spun herself a new web, a darker one that would grab the attention of someone, _anyone._ But there was no reaction or recognition from anyone.

She was weary of the constant loneliness, the way people would just gaze through her as if she wasn't there. She envied the likes of Quinn Fabray, worshipped by every commoner foolish enough to set eyes on her. Tina was even jealous of Rachel Berry, who was ridiculed and tortured by the Cheerios on a daily basis. At least if people hated her, they'd have to acknowledge her existence. Anything was better than being invisible to the world.

The ache of loneliness had long ago been transformed into a stabbing pain that hit her in the gut whenever she saw people together, laughing and joking with each other. A twisted part of her mind would sneer at her pain; 'See them? They're all normal. They all have friends, they all have lives. Unlike you, you sad little weirdo. They're laughing at you, you know. At the silent Gothic freak that will never have a single friend, that no one cares about!' It was only a matter of time before something snapped.

Tina was never the one to get noticed. Her face was unreadable as she calmly told the man at the other end of the line that she needed an ambulance. Hanging up, she toyed with the knife in her hand before suddenly dragging it down her arm. The weapon tore through the skin and flesh, blood staining her porcelain skin a shocking scarlet. As consciousness left her, a wicked smile lit up her lips.

Now everyone would notice her.


	7. Brittany

**Disclaimer:**Again, I don't happen to own Glee. If I did, Blaine would only sing Starkid.

** Author's ** **Note:** That's right! Despite popular belief, I'm not dead! :D  
>Now, it's time to defile Brittany in this twisted little tale of ours!<p>

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><p>Everyone always amused that Brittany was stupid. It wasn't that she lacked intelligence; most people would find it hard to concentrate with a thousand whispers floating through their heads. But these voices had always been with her. Never telling her their secrets, but she could feel them in there, the ghost of a memory. Attempting to grasp them to figure out what exactly they were trying to tell her had the same affect as eating to many Pixie Stix; she always ended up confused with an aching head.<p>

Brittany tried to explain them to her kindergarten, about the shy friends that lived in her head and distracted her. The confused and horrified look on her face taught Brittany the most useful thing she ever learned at school. Her constant companions should be mentioned to no-one, especially not Santana. The Latina was the only thing that really kept her grounded.

As time went by, the voices grew louder, more insistent on ruling her mind. What she could once ignore was now buzzing in her mind, the whispers turning into shouts, but their messages still as mysterious as ever. Her thought process was always thought as a bit strange by her peers, but now even Brittany herself couldn't make sense of what was passing through her lips. Teachers regarded her with sympathetic looks, other students with barely concealed contempt and confusion for the oddity that was Brittany Susan Pierce.

Artie calling her stupid was more than she could take. How couldn't he see what was really happening? Was she really such an idiot that the kind-hearted cripple would find it okay to say it to her face? The perpetual buzzing in her head deafened her for a few seconds as she sprinted across the parking lot to get away from all who judged her. A few second was all it took. As the car tossed her to the ground like a ragdoll, Brittany couldn't help but give a small smile.

For the first time in 17 years, the voices became silent.

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><p>Well, that was depressing. Oh, and I'd really appreciate feedback from all you awesome people! I'll give you RedVines... :)<p> 


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